We have an amazing staff here at Alliance Church and we wanted to go behind the scenes of what it looks like to have a family and be in full-time ministry. Hopefully it helps us better understand and cheerlead our ministry staff as they seek to serve us.

Meet Melanie Hilstad. She is a ministry wife (married to a pastor) and is in full-time ministry as well. Melanie and Brandon began their ministry together, first serving at a church in California, then serving overseas in missions in Burkina Faso and in France, but they eventually ended up at Alliance Church in 2020. Brandon is the Lead Pastor at Alliance Church Hortonville and Melanie is the Director of Discovery Land and Operations in Hortonville.

One of our Alliance blog contributors recently sat down with Melanie and asked her some questions about her life in ministry.

ACBlog: Ministry families have some unique challenges. How would you describe some of these challenges for you and your family?                                                                                                              

Melanie: Even though we lead public lives, I am actually a very private person, so sometimes the many people that feel they ‘know’ us can feel a little overwhelming. To me, Brandon is just my husband. To our kids, he’s just Dad. But to other people, he’s Pastor Brandon. People will often recognize us when we’re out, and come say hi. That’s not a bad thing; it’s nice to meet people. I’ve just needed to adjust to how many people probably know who we are in any given public situation. It can feel like we’re on display a bit. It’s just a part of being in ministry that I am still adjusting to. 
I also think some people assume we are 'better' Christians because we are in ministry. This is simply not true. We make mistakes and sin just like everyone else.  

ACBlog: How do you handle the expectations of ministry? There are so many needs. What ends up being your priority?

Melanie:  My husband and I prioritize God, our marriage, our family, and then ministry. We try to balance other's needs and expectations with our family's needs. This balance can be difficult. We want to make sure our children know they come before ministry. It has been important to communicate this to the people we minister to and with, as well as to our children. 

ACBlog: What are the blessings of being in full-time ministry?

Melanie: I would say one of the biggest blessings is to be intricately woven into such a wonderful church family. We are prayed for and cared for in so many ways. People have been so generous with us and we truly appreciate the ways our family has been blessed by others. We also have a front-row seat to witnessing the power of God to change people’s lives, witnessing marriages being healed, health issues resolved, and the hope people have going through difficult times. 

ACBog:  What does Christ’s call to ministry look like for you? 

Melanie: I am blessed to work alongside my husband in ministry. We genuinely enjoy working together. God has given us giftings to complement each other, and I feel called to serve alongside him.  

ACBlog: How do you cope with the expectations from those you serve and any added pressure you feel?

Melanie: In earlier years of ministry, I felt pressure to be everything to everyone. For example, I would feel pressure to attend every event, accept every invitation, and have everyone to our home… that is simply not sustainable. I gradually built healthy boundaries and now lovingly guard those. Brandon and I build out our family’s calendar first, and then talk with each other before adding anything else.

ACBlog: How do you keep yourself strong enough to engage with the brokenness of this world and the demands of ministry?    

Melanie: I need to make sure I am confident in my relationship with God first. I need to maintain spiritual disciplines to stay strong in my faith. Doing ministry doesn’t take the place of my relationship with God. I need to spend time regularly with Him in order to fuel my capacity and motivation for ministry. Brandon and I both prioritize our marriage - WEEKLY date nights are key for us. Even when our children were little, we did this. We didn’t have family close, so we traded date nights with friends and watched each other’s kids.

I would also add that ministry can be lonely, so it’s important to have support from trusted friends. I have some amazing friends. In all of our moves, God has always blessed me with at least one girlfriend in that place who I can fully be myself with.