When some people hear the word confession, they think of a staid Catholic priest on the other side of a confessional booth wall. When I hear it, I think of a paint-splattered picnic table at a church summer camp, where I sat one summer evening and experienced just how freeing this spiritual discipline can be. 

My camp group leader sat down with all of us late-high-school-age girls that evening and told us to write one thing on a piece of paper that we needed to confess to God. At first, everyone wrote anonymously. But by the end of the night, almost every girl had shared out loud about a struggle they’d been keeping in the dark.  

As we sat there, several of us in tears, our leader grabbed a pencil lying nearby and snapped it in half. “That’s what’s happening here tonight,” she said. “Chains are breaking.  And Satan’s losing his hold.” 

Confessing our sins to others is hardly an exciting occasion—more often, it’s a source of dread. Sometimes we can’t even muster up the honesty to admit to ourselves when we do something wrong. Even if we know we need to bring something to light and desire the accountability of a friend, it’s still just plain intimidating.  

Like plunging into the depths of a strange-smelling storage closet for a spring cleaning, working up the motivation to confess might make us feel sick. But the weightlessness on the other side is more than worth it, because bringing our ugly sins into the light helps us realize how much bigger our God’s grace is in comparison. 

That’s why, out of love for us, God instructs us to participate in communal confession in His word: “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16). 

Like any spiritual discipline, the confession of personal sins does the most for our relationship with God when it is done with wisdom and intention. So, with that said, here are some things to keep in mind in order to go about confession wisely: 

• Confess with humility. Dancing around the topic only feeds our pride and avoids honesty. When we confess our sins by first recognizing that we are weak sinners, the Holy Spirit can strengthen us to clearly admit: “I sinned.” 

• Confess with discretion. This might go without saying, but some people will be better spiritually equipped and more appropriate to respond to our confession than others. We probably shouldn’t share about a compulsive lying habit in a job interview, for example. 

• Confess with purpose. Similarly, when we confess to someone, we should examine our intentions. Do we want them to think of us as honest and bold, or are we truly seeking accountability, healing, and change? 

Some more reasons we should confess our sins to one another: 

• Accountability. This is the key! When we confess to someone, especially someone we’re close with, they can pray for us and check on us to help us avoid temptation. This is especially important for habitual sins. 

• Honesty. It takes humility to confess, and it takes confession to develop humility. 1 John 1:8-9 tells us, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  

• Vulnerability. When grounded in the mutual understanding of the grace of God, friends who confess to one another and experience growth together form stronger bonds than any superficial relationship this world can offer. 

As theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “he who is alone with his sin is utterly alone.” But there is a way to break the chains of hidden sin like snapping a pencil in two. Confession is a life-giving spiritual discipline when done wisely. It might not always go exactly how we expect or want—after all, we’re all sinners, and we mess things up. Thankfully, though, we have an advocate with God the Father in Christ, and He never messes up (1 John 2:1).  

So whatever picture appears in your mind when you hear the word confession, whether it’s a picnic table, a decorous church building, or a freshly cleaned storage closet, let it remind you of the grace of Jesus most of all. 

*Editor's note: For the month of June, we are focusing on the spiritual disciplines! Usually we think of these as part of our school year routine, but let's find flexible ways to connect with God more deeply this summer, even if we need to be extra creative about it!