I believe beauty is hard-wired into us as women. I have this conviction that the godly beauty of our lives is meant to display the attractiveness of the Gospel, and the strength of our faith points to the Gospel’s power to transform us.

But like everything in this world, these values of beauty and strength are skewed by our culture and world values. Barbara Bancroft says in her book “Running on Empty” to consider the world’s ideal of a woman- youthful, stunning, and slim. She would argue, and I agree, our metabolisms and baked goods conspire against us! Nonsensical statements like “the fifties are the new thirties” are thrown around as 50 year olds are now expected to look like 30 year olds.

She continues, “And I don’t know about you, but as I begin to lose my looks and youthfulness I try to renegotiate the terms: I may not look good in a bikini but I can make a mean chocolate cake! And as I have aged, I have learned the subtle art of camouflage, dressing in a way to hide my flaws and inadequacies.” 

I would like to add a caveat here and say it is not wrong to want to look attractive, take care of ourselves, use make up, dress nicely; please do not start wearing sweatpants, eating ice cream for lunch, or stop showering just to make a point! The problem arises when we are seduced by the notion that if we make ourselves look better, our deepest needs for love will be met.

We can blame our culture but truthfully I find I can be a willing participant. Because of my own brokenness and sin, I am drawn to the culture’s value of perfection. The problem is that our desire for perfection makes us extremely vulnerable to the conviction that perfect bodies are actually attainable. But not only that, we come to believe that they are what makes us deserving of love.
 
This is a lie. The Bible says that in Christ we are made perfect. In our weaknesses, God’s power is perfected. Scripture tells us there is no more or no less we can do to earn or increase God’s love for us. His love is constant and unchanging.

He says we are beautiful because of what He has done for us, not what we have done for Him. So, who do we believe? God or our culture? The fact that so many of us have a hard time truly believing and living according to these Biblical truths shows us what a powerful delusion the world’s siren call for beauty and perfection is!

As I wrestle with the concept of beauty in my life, I find the following four disciplines helpful.
1. I try to be more attentive of the lies of the world that have a hold on me, and I consciously and continually confess them.
2. After acknowledging (confessing) the hold our culture’s standard of beauty has on me, I repent and ask God for the power of the Holy Spirit to help me make it my goal not to live up to the world’s standards of beauty, but rather, to be conformed to the image of Christ.
3. I continually look for ways to be thankful for the many good things God has given me, especially in the midst of hard things. This discipline reminds me of how blessed and loved I am.
4. Finally, by continually declaring and meditating on the truth of God’s love and the beautiful descriptions of who I am in Christ, gradually the lies I have lived by are replaced.                       

This is a daily battle. It’s never “one and done” for me. If I slack off, I am back to feeling defeated and even bitter. There is no “silver bullet" in this battle. It’s the daily disciplines that help me on my journey of freedom to live a beautiful life confidently in God’s love and opinion of me.